In many technology organizations, feedback is broken.
It either doesn’t happen at all (the “Nice Culture” where everyone avoids conflict), or it happens too late (the “Annual Review” where you find out you’ve been failing for 11 months).
This silence is deadly.
Without honest, timely feedback, code quality drops, projects drift, and high performers get frustrated and leave.
To build a high-performing tech team, you need to move beyond “polite” and build a Feedback-Rich Culture. You need an environment where “Radical Candor” isn’t just a buzzword, but a daily practice.
Here is how to break the silence and build a culture of continuous improvement.
The “Ruinous Empathy” Trap
Most managers want to be nice. They don’t want to hurt feelings. So, when an engineer writes sloppy code or misses a deadline, the manager says nothing, hoping it will get better.
Kim Scott, author of Radical Candor, calls this Ruinous Empathy.
It feels kind in the moment, but it is actually cruel. By withholding the truth, you deny your employee the chance to fix the problem. You set them up to fail.
The Goal: Move from Ruinous Empathy to Radical Candor—caring personally about the human while challenging directly on their work.
3 Rituals to Build the Feedback Habit
You can’t just say “give more feedback.” You have to build structures that force it to happen.
1. The “Retro” is Sacred (Team Feedback)
Agile teams have a built-in feedback mechanism: the Sprint Retrospective. But too often, it becomes a status update.
The Fix: Use the “Start, Stop, Continue” framework. Ask:
- “What should we start doing to move faster?”
- “What should we stop doing that is wasting time?”
- “What should we continue doing because it’s working?”
Rule: No personal attacks, only process critiques.
2. The 1:1 is for Coaching, Not Status (Individual Feedback)
If your weekly 1:1 is just a list of “what did you do today,” you are wasting it. Status updates belong in Slack or Jira.
The Fix: Dedicate 10 minutes of every 1:1 to feedback.
- Manager: “Is there anything I could have done to support you better this week?”
- Manager: “Here is one thing I think you did exceptionally well, and one thing I think you could have handled differently.”
3. The “Flash” Feedback (Real-Time)
Feedback has a half-life. Telling someone about a bug 3 months later is useless.
The Fix: The “2-Minute Rule.” If you see something, say something immediately (private praise, private critique).
- “Hey, great catch on that edge case in the code review.”
- “Hey, I noticed you interrupted Sarah in the meeting. Let’s make sure everyone gets a chance to speak next time.”
How to Give Feedback Without Being a Jerk
Tech professionals are logical. They respond to data, not vague feelings.
Use the SBI Model (Situation – Behavior – Impact) to keep feedback objective.
- Bad: “You need to be more proactive.” (Vague, judgmental).
- Good (SBI): “In yesterday’s outage meeting (Situation), you waited for me to ask for the root cause instead of volunteering it (Behavior). This delayed our response time by 15 minutes (Impact). Next time, please lead with the data.”
The Leader Goes First
You cannot demand feedback if you cannot take it.
The fastest way to build this culture is for the leader to show vulnerability.
The Action: In your next team meeting, ask: “What is one thing I do that slows the team down?” Then, silence. Wait for an answer. When someone is brave enough to speak, say “Thank you,” and act on it.
This signals that feedback is safe. It turns feedback from a weapon into a tool.
Authentic Leadership
Building a feedback culture is uncomfortable. It requires courage.
But the payoff is a team that trusts each other enough to tell the truth. A team that fixes problems before they become crises. A team that grows.
As your IT Talent Development Partner, Authentic Bridge helps you install these rituals. We coach your managers on how to have hard conversations and build the psychological safety required for innovation.
Stop avoiding the hard conversations. Contact us today to learn how to build a high-performing, feedback-rich culture.